Saturday, October 15, 2011

Forgiveness 2.0

Of late, I have been switching channels very often navigating through piles of serials and movies all around. On to something very important. Last week was good. I had tough time towards the end but I liked it very much. It forced me to think about it rather deeply. It made me realize the importance of forgiving others. A very good lesson. Gandhian stuff.
I always thought to forgive your juniors is a complete achievement but it seems I had won half the battle.Forgiveness does not have boundaries. My resolution this year is to take the important first 2 steps i.e. of understanding what it means and practicing it.

But what is forgiveness ? People wrong you. It creates terrible pain and then you try to forgive them. And how do you do that ? To answer that seems to be difficult, but let us understand what forgiveness is not.

Forgiveness is not a meek submission to folks elder to you. It is not unwillingly pardoning some one younger to make him feel good. It is not about making a facile smile when your peer pokes fun on you. It is neither forcibly accepting a fault which one has not done just to put things in control. Nor it is an embarrassing smile if you are denied to talk to your so called dream girl or if you hear her being courted by someone else. To add, the deeper and very incorrect notion of forgiveness comes to the fore when you are painfully hit by the wrong end of destiny's stick. We 'justify' it to everyone by associating it to be a karmic event and yet unconsciously curse our selves deep within. Forgiveness is not that justification either.


To me forgiveness is something entirely different. It is letting others be what they are. It is your honest and complete acknowledgment of how others are and the way they behave; what others feel and believe and most importantly 'how things in general' pan out. It is the most faithful acceptance of the fact that you do not have any control of anything other than yourself. And in the extreme cases not even yourself.

It is to watch the pain inside you as it is and yet dissociate the pain from the perpetrator. It is to speak , act and hear about things as they are with no speck of lie in it. To take the truth to its full course.
As one watches the pain , it reveals a control you just lost. It may be material or psychological. And this should force you to look out for things you have unknowingly associated with yourself by now and that too without any right. But most essentially, in the scheme of things , your perception of the perpetrator does not get affected because of the pain he inflicted.

Anything which you might have spoken and done on your 'right' will never cause you any pain. If you are passive and not speaking the rightful truth, then it is a blasphemy to humanity.

As you practice it day in and out, you will see a familiar wave driving these things. This wave has a peculiarity of being correct , reasonable and peaceful. The one who rides this wave is happy. He is also powerful. This wave is called truth, the actual. Forgiveness is the first step towards seeing the nature of truth and what it is not about. It is the fairy tale of life one ought to live.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

October Fest

It is October.The most eventful month of any year because of all festivals round the corner. Also the most blessed month as it marks victory over the dark and celebrations abound home and away.
Today morning was a little bit different.I have an unconscious habit of waking up late on Thursday's and yesterday night I took a resolve to reverse it.I woke up at least 5 times between 530 and 8 and yet my conscious resolve lost against my unconscious willingness to sleep. I reached office just in time and a little irritated owing to the morning experience.And then heard the news about Jobs' death.
How do you describe him ? I do not know.
His death definitely ended his perpetual pain and its the only thing which is cheerful about the news. The world owes a bow and a minute of silence to this evangelist of innovation and change.He may very well get back to apple one day

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Anna Hazaare not out..A special innings..

Apart from forcing govt to involve civil society in the lokpal bill to strangle corruption,Anna does something very special. Its how his movement forced the govt of a billion to budge that is unfathomable and yet very inspirational.
Anna's movement shows a way to be fearless and persistent not only in the comfort of one's own space but also in front of the mightiness of historical heavy handedness and lethargy. And that separates the one rallying behind from the one leading from the front.I along with my nation backed him without even literally reading the bill at the first place.
I know if it has anything to do with rooting out the evil in my society I can afford atleast an 18/18 faith in anyone who does that . I am not seeing the mahatma out of Anna Hazare but I am happy for him being what he is for the past 4 days.

World Cup 2011-What it means?

Even a week after winning the world cup, the memory of the moment remains fresh. It will linger for weeks to come. Apart from the fact that we won the biggest tournament, the win did a lot of other things which rarely happens to me or to my country.
It brought a sense of previously unmatched euphoria and a surreal satisfaction. Just imagine the calm that follows such feelings.
The joy contains a personal satisfaction of seeing the team win a jinxed tournament, something I longed for ages since I took over my senses. But more than that the euphoria had a collective quotient which made it extra special. Suddenly everyone is happy for real and the mind is without doubts. And we revel in each others joy.
It was a national catharsis made of a billion individual catharsis as if the winning shot, like a guillotine, killed the national pain and an unending wait at one stroke.
We need a lot more of them as an individual and a nation.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Back from India

Back from India after 21 roller coaster days for me. From staying in a hotel preparing for an interview to witnessing the republic day parade as part of the VVIP crew to a roller coaster ride to my home was a perfect start to the new decade. This year is turning out to be a lesson for me. Its trying to test whatever I have built till now. That is a scary thought but I am enjoying. Its gonna bring out everything that is bolted inside me.A bit of anxiety comes up every time and my ability to handle it comes out in front

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Struggle

A fitting end to the internal struggle. The banging of head against the wall of the fate and expectation ends;The experiment stops and the life starts.
I need sleep.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Understanding Movement of thought

There are many who have forcefully occupied my mental rack. And there are few to whom I would willingly give one. Mr J Krishnamurti will be the first of them. I bow to thou sir.

Mind creates an image on perceiving a given sensation. This image per se is not only visual but it may contain other sensory feeling such as sound. The image created can be static or dynamic. It is not 'is' but ‘to be’. This gap between 'is' and 'to be' is desire or wanting. Essentially it means that sensation and its associated perceptions are ‘taken in’ by the mind (made of memory) to ‘create’ an image. If in the example if you consider ‘taken in’ as event 1 and ‘create’ as event 2, then the activity or the flow from event 1 to event 2 is called the Movement of thought (MOT).But it is very gross. There are finer steps. Let us try to understand it.
Consider the following steps:

Step 1: One seeing an object (object of desire / hate).

The immediate recognition of the object as an object of desire or hate is mind’s pre-processing. The memory is composed of data and experiences; experiences being a coherent stream of time movements with data and its characteristics.This data can be you and me ; the basic unit of work,the atom of the mind

Step 2: Senses acting on the object.
The very act of seeing is an MOT( This is voluntary)

Sensory Organs are like data input systems. They merely take in the data depending upon its own making.So any sight is a 'seen data' by the eyes.This can't be heard or touched.They can only be referred to in the 'seen data'.Merely a reference.This reference is too subtle for us to understand.But it is there.The mere invoking the ‘seen’ data calls the faculty of hear or touch.

These are involuntary MOT's and we are used to it.Essentially everything was voluntary initially. And then we got used to it.They became involuntary.
Can mind be similar to a computer? I mean I understand computer algorithms are after all an outcome of human thought processing. Destination always has the source in it


Step 3: The thought then takes the input data and makes an image out of it.This is a voluntary MOT.

This image is output of mind's activity of dealing with the input on the basis of existing thought patterns.Biases and prejudices are minds 'way' to deal with a given kind of data at any given point of time.

Lets take an example

1. Let the data input be 'A'.
2. Mind matches with all the 'A's already present in memory. 'A' has multiple characteristics. They are mind's interpretations (Behavior and Characteristics)of the input with reference to many such 'A' and their behavior stored in the memory.
3. Mind scans all the related routines in the memory depending upon multiple characteristics of A.

An entirely new data may flummox the mind in and out.(Some thing never seen or heard about. Something never 'sensed' about)

It means that out of 'n' number of interpretations to the finally identified unique 'A', the mind decides (A voluntary MOT) to opt one of them.

4. This routine creates new data. This has become an involuntary MOT.
The data form is a mix of 'sensory' types. A sensation not in picture may too be involved. That is part of the routine.It is voluntary if you see it. Its just that we never tend to exercise the will to change it. Also it is uniquely defined for each individual as the memory is different for each one of us.

I would state without questioning that if my memory were to be completely replaced by someone else' memory then the first reaction to the first event in my new mind life would have been the same as what the replaced guy would have reacted to the same event.And then we would have split in our own ways

This newly created memory (thought) has its own features; like any other data which is stored in memory.The crucial difference is that this new data is 'created by the mind based on input data fetched by the sensory organs'. The new memory ('to be') doesn't have any 'existence' similar to that of the data fetched ('is').There is a gap. This is the subtle difference between 'is' and 'to be'. Mind doesn't really take the source in the interpretation and processing of any data. The mind's interpretation of the new data as existential and not being derived is the subtle drift in human life. This interpretation is what we call desire.